Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you would pick up someone in the library
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
