i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
