I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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