Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
