I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
