need another drink. this is the easiest way
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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