so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.