he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
