The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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