How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
