He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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