i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
