Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
