I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
