i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
