Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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