One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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