I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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