i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize