Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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