She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
