oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
