When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
