You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
