I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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