Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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