he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
