The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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