Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
