Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
