Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
