Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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