so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
