I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
