im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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