Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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