I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
