Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize