it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Randomize
