my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
