I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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