The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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