Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
