doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
