? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
