You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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