yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
