Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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