Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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