you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
