and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize