what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
