I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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