I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
