I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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