How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
