Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
