Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
