Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
