saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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