so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
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He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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