I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
