I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
