He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
wow bdsm is so cute
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
