i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
BRING THE BAGELS
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
