wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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