she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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