So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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