how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
