i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
