I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We left an ass print on the piano.
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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