Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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